I saw my first double rainbow today, and it got me thinking.
I know this sounds like the start of a spirituality post. If you’re of a spiritual nature, that’s great. All the love to you. If you’re not spiritual, no worries. This post isn’t actually spiritual.
As those of you who subscribe to my newsletter may recall, I’m spending most of the summer on a work trip on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This is a fantastic thing. I’m living in a nice hotel on the beach, I currently have the room to myself, I don’t have to cook or clean or even make my own coffee. I’m still working 40+ hours a week, but it’s amazing how much time is freed up when you don’t have any domestic responsibilities.
I thought I’d be getting all kinds of writing done, too. This is based on my general work ethic when I’m home as well as my proven track record of getting work done on vacations in the past. It’s not like I was hoping for productivity, I was expecting it. It’s what I do.
It isn’t what I’m doing this time. There have been a series of minor inconveniences that haven’t destroyed the trip but did a number on my concentration. Part of this was two straight weeks of the most nightmarish snoring I’ve ever suffered through in my entire life from a roommate — remember I said I have the room to myself? I’ve never been so thankful for this ever — but it’s been a bunch of things.
I’m struggling, you guys. I finished Warren’s Tabby, my next release, before I got here. I picked up the sequel, Beauty and the Boar, at the beginning of the month expecting to be done by mid-month, and I’ve still got A WAYS to go. I’m also seeing a massive edit needed for it, after Warren’s Tabby needed only a bit of polishing. I’m also seeing a bit of edits needed for Warren’s Tabby, which is fine, but that’s why I wanted this done already.
Today was the biggest hit. I got a tiny bit of writing in this morning and at work realized the whole scene I’m working on needs to start at a different place and come from a different character’s perspective. That means everything I wrote the last two days is trash, and I’m exhausted today.
I’m not a quitter. I’m going to keep writing. But I’m really frustrated with where I am right now, both in terms of Beauty and the Boar and my career in general. Again, I have total faith in myself, the road’s just looking really rocky right now.
Which brings me to this:
I didn’t even realize it was a double rainbow at first. I was taking the photo, and the lady next to me was like, “Do you see that arch there?” and I nodded while thinking, “Do I look like a fucking idiot it’s a big ass rainbow.” But then I got my pictures and looked at the actual sky again, and there it was.
Also, this is why I really do try my best not to snap at people. That lady was totally right. Look at that arch there.
On my way back up to my room, I got to thinking about how much happier I felt for having gotten to see this literally picture-perfect rainbow over the ocean, and I realized something in no way spiritual.
Life is random. Bad things happen all the time, like snoring roommates and dead alternators and stories not coming out how they should. It’s easy to dwell on those, but look at this random good thing. And the fact that I’m getting to spend a summer at the beach with all my expenses covered. And how great it is to be launching a writing career at a time when I can dodge the whole traditional publishing process and throw my stuff right onto Amazon for something kind of like free.
Maybe I won’t get my early September release on Beauty and the Boar, but it will be released in September, as will Girlfriend by the Hour. I’ve got that locked down. And maybe there will be rainy days here, but I’ll get my beach time in, don’t you worry. And yup, replacing that alternator sucked, but my truck has over 200,000 miles on her, and I’m damn proud of her.
I just have to remember to bask in the random good stuff instead of dwelling in the random bad.
Here’s a better photo of the rainbow, back when it was single.